NLG gets Grinderman'd

What happens when you mix a general practitioner on a tax-deductible work trip, one half of the No Look Guns, a bottle of fireball, and Nick Cave and his band of virtuoso Ozark musicians? A black eye, a couple of headaches and a pile of receipts for the taxman, that’s what.

The aforementioned med (Dr. Roberts), a No Look Gunner from the wild interior hub of Okanagan Falls, was in town for a professional development course and was convinced the entire night would be a tax write off. He lured Serge to the dark world of Nick Cave’s alter-ego band, Grinderman, and into the sold out Commodore show with promises of tax deductible drinks and a bottle of whiskey in his boot.

Like moths attracted to a bug zapper on a sticky night in the Deep South, the crowd at the Ballroom—a meaty soup of freaks—were drawn to Nick Cave. Polygamists, satyrs, a Cyclops and a host of other miscreants crawled towards Cave’s omnipotent presence as if it were the ethereal equivalent of the fly-lamp, while the theologically laced lyrics and wickedly talented band of Ozark looking musicians provided the southern feel. Cave truly did seem god-like; he almost literally squeezed the huge venue of 1500 people into a tiny square in front of him. With liquid courage fueled by Dr. Roberts’ expense account, NLG made their way to the front— getting so close to the Grinderman that at one point Dr Roberts claimed that he was not holding onto the front railing, but Nick Cave’s balls. With proximity came a price, though. When Cave began breathing the heavy lyrics to “Heathen Child”, the crowd of idolaters took this as some sort of cultish summoning. This set off a physical and psychological battering of NLG that included front wedgies, ear pokes, a clothesline to Dr. Roberts’ neck and a sucker punch to the left eye of Serge. However, rather than back down, NLG heard their own war cry—Cave’s spewing rant about a prudent fan, “No Pussy Blues”. Whipped into an adrenaline-induced blackout, Serge and Dr. Roberts didn’t see each other again until they found one another outside after the show. Serge was peddling the setlist for Marlboro Lights and the Doc was holding a teatowel with Nice Cave’s face on it. Deciding to make the accountant back in OK Falls even more jealous when he sees the receipts from the evening, the two headed to the local gentleman’s club to add to the pile. Now let’s just hope the CRA doesn’t audit Dr. Roberts and ruin all the fun.

Grinderman - No Pussy Blues

Grinderman's website