Monday, January 1, 2018

The Final Jimmy Awards

Well, this is it. We knew the day would come: when we had no more relevant input on new music. Sure, we could keep handing out Jimmys for things like trap music and field recordings of snowflakes, but it's time: there's simply no place for an annual music blog in this age of immediacy. But we've had a good run. So good, in fact, that instead of handing out awards, we've chosen to shoot off a farewell no-look-gun salute, by counting down the ten best moments in NLG history:

10. Getting a shout out from a stranger who met Serge’s parents at SXSW. It's when we knew we had officially arrived.

9. Getting offered free tickets in exchange for reviewing a show by Wooden Sky (or was it Wooden Hands, or maybe Woodpigeon).... The offer was later rescinded, but we’re pretty sure it’s the thought that counts.

8. Hanging in the Market Square green room at Rifflandia 2009. It was our first time in a green room - we said we were "journalists" and chugged free beer and conducted an interview with Topless Gay Love Techno Party. We were confused why the walls were white. It was exhilarating. 

7. Garnering 9 unique followers on our blog: Hong, Efren, Paula (thanks Mom!), Danielle, Will, Alex, Marguerite, Big Cat, and Gamelle. Did you click the ads like we asked you to? You guys are the best.

6. Almost getting accepted as a contributing blog by Hype Machine. Ultimately, our application was rejected - we weren't "commercial" or "consistent" enough to "hype" - but we bet they are kicking themselves RIGHT NOW.

5. Getting shot at with a No-Look-Gun by Robbie Slade of Humans, after sneaking into their show during the Winter Olympics. Robbie - you don’t know us, but you'd love us if you did.

4. Getting a response from White Denim to our apology letter after getting exceptionally drunk at their show and soliciting them to take a cab to Kerrisdale to get in a hot tub with us. The offer still stands, by the way.

3. Earning over $14 on Google Adwords. That’s real money (as soon as we figure out how to withdraw it). A lot of people have been asking us what we’re going to do with it. Retire? No way. We’re gonna invest in the future and buy 0.000835643 of a Bitcoin.

2. Our exclusive interview with Canadian rap sensation Shad, way back in September 2010. Shad won a Juno for his album after this interview. Coincidence? You be the judge: read the full, previously unpublished, interview here.

1. The No Look Gun that started it all: shot by the man, the myth, the legend himself -- Jimmy, that's J-I-M-M-Y -- after he burned rubber in his GMC in the parking lot of an unfinished waterfront mansion in Manzanita Oregon, while we shielded our eyes, not from the gravel that rained down upon us, but from that most obscene and flippant gesture, the most brazen NLG the world has ever seen, which would spawn all of this: nine years of semi-regular music bloggery, two alter-egos, fifteen Jimmy awards and a hell of a lot of hangovers. It is to you that we fire our final no-look-gun. You will always be our Faded Glory.

Yours Truly, Serge Eon & Gene Ral

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